All posts tagged parenting

digital parents conferece 2013

Someone Pinch Me Please – Am I Seriously Going To DPCON13?

DPCON 13 – Digital Parents Conference 2013

I was never meant to go to DPCON this year. There were several constraints – the day job, finances…life.

Then almost like it was meant to be, one day while lurking on the Digital Parents website, I noticed Jane of Java Jane had put her ticket up for sale as she couldn’t make the conference and wouldn’t want the ticket to go to waste. I cold emailed Jane as it was a fair few hours later than she had initially posted thinking the ticket would definitely have been snapped up.  Jane responded straight back and said it was still available, it was a sign. I explained to Jane that I was a single parent and would appreciate any concession possible. Jane happily obliged for which I am eternally grateful, Thank you Jane.

So I was in luck but there was still another hurdle. You see,  this year DPCON is happening on a Wednesday and a Thursday which means being a solo parent, I would have to ask the boys’ dad to look after them on 3 week nights. I wasn’t sure if he would be okay with that but more importantly, I wasn’t sure how the kids would feel about the change in their routine . It has been 3 years since the split, they have never spent a school night with their father. Fs2  at one stage said “ But Daddy doesn’t know how we do our homework”  You can trust Fs2 for telling it like it is, you really can ! More than FS2 though, it has been FS1 who hasn’t been entirely okay with the idea.

Once I had an okay from their dad, I took the bold step of buying my ticket. Bold because I was doing something out of my comfort zone, leaving the kids behind, trusting everything would be okay… In parenting world, that is a big ask, in single–parenting world, it is a monumental ask… a large part of you is always ensuring that the children have an extra cushion wherever possible, you try to soften the blows every step of the way. To somehow make up for the relationship you couldn’t work out with their other parent. I am not advocating that it is the best way but quite often, that is how it is.

Now the next step would be to find accommodation within an affordable range close to the venue. While I was still considering my options and the official DPCON hotel seemed out of range, I saw an FB update by Rhianna over at A Parenting Life wondering if anyone wanted to share a room. Genius! Why hadn’t I thought of this before? It was a sign. I messaged Rhi and put both hands up for sharing. Rhi was keen , I was keen –  And in no time I had myself a DPCON roomie. Yay!

The weeks leading up to DPCON have been busy at home, at work and on the blog. I haven’t kept very well for the past few weeks so that hasn’t helped either. The excitement though hasn’t dulled at all, I can’t wait to learn more about the craft, perhaps gain a better sense of direction moving forward but most important of all, meet all my fabo new bloggy friends. Yep that’s the bottom line folks! Meeting all the awesome bloggy peeps and the shopping, lets not underestimate the shopping. Infact, there may or may not have been a bit of a shopping spree leading up to the event. Trust me , this is a big deal in the Aussie blogging world and a girl has to look her best, plus really any excuse is a good excuse to shop. Period.

Now lets fast forward because:

a) I don’t want to put you all to sleep and

b) I would ideally like to finish writing this post before I get to Sydney and at this rate, it’s never gonna happen.

Yes, you heard it , as I type , I am on  my way to Sydney for DPCON13!!!!  Okay now that I am done being dramatic, I have to admit my nerves still a little bit frayed from what has been a jam packed day in every sense of the word.

I almost thought I wouldn’t make it to DPCON.

Saturday, FS 1 ( Fab son 1 for new readers) came down with a temperature which meant we were off line for most of the weekend. I thought he would be better by Monday but that didn’t happen , the poor thing felt tired and weak, I’d feel terrible sending him to school that way so we ended up staying home. At this point though, I was gradually heading towards a guilt ridden  panic zone , how could I ever leave my sick child and head over to Sydney for 3 whole days of blogging fun? Where are my priorities? What was I thinking? I was a terrible mum.

This morning,  my little man looked a lot better (phew) but still didn’t want to go school. I somehow pushed him to go and headed off to work. More guilt, more “bad mother” feelings. I promised, I would come get him if he fell sick again but he had to atleast try. Every ounce of me hoped that he’d get back into the swing of things once he saw his friends. I was wrong. At midday, I had the ominous phone call from the school front office, he didn’t look too well and I would have to come get him. Guilt, guilt and more guilt. At this point, I was going to ready to abandon DPCON altogether. Then I spoke to a dear friend who talked a bit (lot) of sense into me…Stay calm , get FS1 and reassess the situation. Is he really as bad or is it just a case of separation anxiety. Wise girl.

Within 3 hours of being at work, I scrambled calmly managed to finish whatever I needed to do, raced back to the school, picked up both boys and brought them home. FS1 seemed a bit low yes, but nothing major and definitely nothing a few tight cuddles couldn’t fix.  I requested them both to be extra good so mummy could finish packing. After weeks of obsessing over what and what not to pack, I still have a nagging feeling that I have forgotten something or perhaps it’s just the mad rush of it all. Amazingly, there were no fights, no cushion wars, nothing. I actually finished packing an hour before their dad was supposed to pick them up, heck I even did one quick lot of dishes and watered my plants. Eventually, I sat down with the boys for a cuppa. There were kisses, tears and cuddles galore I can assure you.  I knew then that I would miss them terribly, I knew they would miss me too.

They left and soon after, I left home for the bus station. It feels surreal to finally be heading to Sydney, I suppose I am still wound up after the day’s events, anxious and exhausted. I need to deep breathe, let go and trust that everything will be okay. I need to take the next 3 days well in my stride and soak up all the bloggy goodness there is to come. I need to appreciate that I am able to go along this year. Last year I was a blogger who had just begun her journey and avidly watched  DPCON12 from a distance through FB and Twitter streams. I was envious, I wanted to be there.

Tomorrow morning, I will be at DPCON13 rubbing shoulders with some of the best in the Aussie blogosphere, making new friends, finally meeting the bloggers whose words I have admired from a distance. Listen to some amazing stories, perhaps share mine. Dream a little more.

Someone, pinch me please.

Have you been to a bloggers conference ? How did you feel ? What’s your best tip?

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  You have already voted.

{Wordless Wednesday} Moods

This handsome little man is my younger son aka Fabulous Son 2. Contrary to FS1, he hates posing or having pictures taken. So I just go ahead and do the next best thing any mum would do, capture him at his natural best. Here I give you Moods.

child's smile

A child’s smile is one one of life’s greatest blessings.

Linking up with the very wonderful My Little Drummer Boys and Twinkle In The Eye Blog for Wordless Wednesday.

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thirty something

The Quintessential Birthday Post And Life’s Second Chances.

The Quintessential Birthday Post.

 

34.

It’s not a big birthday. Hardly so. But as another year of my life winds to a close, I find myself reflecting back to my big 30th.

Let me take you back to 2009. The year I turned 30. The year I changed my life… for good.

It was a year of awakening for me, the year that I decided I would not survive any longer under oppression, I wanted to LIVE. I wanted my children to experience life fully, unfiltered. Lying just ahead was a monumental task for someone who felt defeated. In 2009, my self esteem had hit record lows, a battered personality and a broken soul.

What followed was a battle against the odds. A fight I will never forget.I stood my ground, firmly..surprising myself and those around me. It is a long story and while I will not get into all the details of it today, lets just say it was never pleasant. If ever, my strength and resilience have been tested, this was it. Turning 30 was like going through a personal avalanche. Read more about my thoughts on turning  30 here.

Fast Forward 4 years.

A few hard facts and a recap.

You make a choice. You stick by it. Simple.

My life is far from perfect but it is a lot more peaceful than it would have been in a toxic situation.

The biggest criticism I copped was that I was making a decision for myself but not for my children. Errr say that again and I might clobber ya!

Parenting is the hardest job in the world. Solo-parenting harder. But when I see their innocent smiles, their twinkling eyes brimming with michief, curiosity and love tucked away somewhere in there too, softly nestled in the many lazy morning cuddles…all the exhaustion of solo parenting melts away.

At 16, I wanted to be a writer. Post babies, my wonderful friend and one of most inspiring writers I know, Miss R encouraged me to write how I was feeling as I went through severe depression, I didn’t get very far. Then one day in 2012 the baby sister said , you cook so well, why not start a blog?

Feb-12 I started writing again. Just like that.

I have realised that post 30, birthdays tend to matter less and sadly, even the baby sister is now old enough to be treated like an adult! That makes me feel OLD , instantly.

At 30, I established I had many acquaintances but very few genuine friends. The past 4 years have strongly cemented that.

I have resurrected for my children and myself a life without any external assistance from anyone. A part of me is very proud. And yet, there are many places to go, lots more to accomplish.

Last but not the least important, life gives us a second chance and when it does, we must grab it, with both hands. That one split second, that one second chance has the potential to change the course of our lives forever.

I will leave you with a picture from this day last year that is very special to me and a verse from a poem I read very often.

Birthday

Two roads diverged in a wood and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Have you ever taken a chance that changed the course of your life completely?

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT

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The Boy Who Dreams.

I found this picture of me with my eldest from earlier this year on my phone and the moment I saw it, I knew it had to be shared. My second thought was I don’t share nearly enough stories or pictures of FS#2 as I do of FS#1 so that will definitely have to change this year! Imagine, the poor lad being scarred for life for lack of mention on mum’s blog … just in case Mumchic becomes a big deal…. a girl’s gotta be prepared for all eventualities you know!

Back to Fs#1 for now though, he has a striking personality that is very much beginning to come into its own. Among his many wonderful traits, here are some. He is headstrong, righteous, kind, confident, intelligent and stubborn. He has a generous, giving heart…a crab like tough exterior but beautifully tender on the inside. FS#1 has a thinking, perceptive mind, some times too perceptive for his my own good. Like me , he too has big dreams.

And that is where I will leave you. With a precious moment and with words that best speak his story.

raising a good son

There is more to a boy than what his mother sees. There is more to a boy then what his father dreams. Inside every boy lies a heart that beats. And sometimes it screams, refusing to take defeat. And sometimes his father’s dreams aren’t big enough, and sometimes his mother’s vision isn’t long enough. And sometimes the boy has to dream his own dreams and break through the clouds with his own sunbeams.

- Ben Behunin

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budons

Back To School Stationery Fun With Budons {Review & Giveaway}

Growing up, I absolutely LOVED picking out  fresh stationery for the new school year. From what I gather, not much has changed! Kids (and their parents if you are anything like me) still get all excited when it comes to buying new stationery and getting organised for the year ahead! Fabulous Son 2 has already declared we will be covering all his books with Batman contact this year!

photo 2 (16) budons stationery

Speaking of individualising stationery for back to school in 2013, we were absolutely delighted to receive our little package to review from Budons. Their uber cool range of stationery ticks all the boxes for a fun and funky back to school experience for the kids. Available in a large variety to pick from, the adorable and vibrant clip-on characters are the highlight of Budons stationery. They can be clipped on to pencil cases, lunch bags, backpacks, folder and notebooks to create a customised look to suit your child’s mood and style. The clip-on characters can even be bought as a cool eraser and are totally affordable at $1.50 a piece.

Never lose or mix up school or gym bags with colourful good-sized bag tags, infact they would be great for kids’ luggage too! Budons A5 notebooks make great writing journals for the tweens in the family(perfect as a birthday present too!) .And if that’s not awesome enough, the yummylicious smelling scratch and sniff notebooks and sticky notes are absolutely gorgeous and will be a sure-fire hit with the jotters and scribblers!

To get your own Budons fix, head over to your local Target store, this unique range is now available nationally or to win a prize pack similar to the one featured above, enter our giveaway now!

{Giveaway} – New Winner Announced!

This giveaway has now closed. Winner will be announced on January 28th 2013.

And the winner is :

~Michelle V~ Your creative poem on headlice infestation totally rocked my boat!

Congratulations Michelle V and well done :)

Please email me on mumschic@gmail.com with your address to receive your Budons prize pack.

a BIG thank you to everyone who took the time to enter this competition.You are all fabulous !!!

To make back to school a breeze in 2013, the generous folks at Budons are giving one Mumchic reader a chance to win a Budons prize pack valued at $40. Here’s how to enter!

1. What is the one thing you don’t like about the kids getting back to school? {Please leave your answer in the comments below}

2. Follow our Faceboook page here or our Twitter page here  or follow this blog via email and let us know that you did!

And you are in! It is as easy as that.

The most unique answer wins a Budons pack worth $40.

Good Luck!

T&C’s

*only one entry per person
*you must be an Australian resident with a valid Australian postal address
*all entries will be verified for all of the above steps
*ONE prize pack only. Valued at $40
*contents of this prize pack may vary from those shown in this post
*entries will close at 10:30pm on Tuesday, the 22nd January 2013
*winner will be notified via email & will be announced on the blog
*judge’s decision is final
*prizes are not transferable, changeable or redeemable for cash
*prizes will not be replaced in the event that they are stolen, lost or damaged in transit
*prize will be sent by a third party, Mumchic accepts no liability for the prize in any way

Disclaimer : No cash was received for this post, however Budons provided us with product to review.

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2012_iPod_touch_5th_gen_

What I Love About My Son Having An Ipod!

So Fab Son 1 aka R got an Apple iPod Touch 5th Generation for his 9th birthday late 2012 , if you missed the totally cute and watch worthy video from the big day, you will find it here. Pretty cool eh?

Over the Christmas break and school summer holidays, the iPod has become FS1′s best friend and fair enough, he has been waiting for it for TWO whole years after all ! Sarcasms aside, R has waited quite patiently so it is a well deserved birthday present and absolutely no surprise that I have now lost a son to the world of iTunes, iPod apps and games I had no idea even existed. Angry Birds is as far as I will go. But these days, it is all about the technology and cool gadgets. It’s a boy thing too I suppose ( for further explanations, read here).

As with all technology, it can either be a blessing or a menace. Bearing this in mind, I am quite  judicious with FS1′s usage of the iPod with strict rules on what can be downloaded and what can not and how much time he spends on it a day. So for example, come the start of school in Feb’13, the iPod will be safely tucked away only to be used on weekends but until then usage within reason is perfectly fine by me.

We are all aware of the dangers of children being exposed to technology but there are some fantastic benefits too! Apart from the fact that he can just about Google everything, he is aware how hot the next 3 days will be but what I love MOST about my son having an iPod is this!

modern day communication with children

This exchange happened last week while my super amazing parents were looking after the kids so I could peacefully go to work.

I LOVE how I can talk to my son no matter where I am and he doesn’t need to have a phone just yet, a wifi connection is just fine. I like the fact that I can get down to his level and communicate with him in a way in which he can relate to me. Funnily enough, the message hasn’t changed , the modes have, yep rooms still need to be cleaned, toys still need to be packed away and beds still need to be made!

Oh and the other reason is that he takes beautiful pictures! Have you seen this shot?

How do you see parent-child communication changing with technological developments? How do you cope?

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Top 10 Annual Promises To Self – Made To Be Broken {Mostly}

New Year's resolutions

New Year’s resolutions , we all make them and more often than not, break them. How is 2013 going to be any different? Here’s a quick snapshot of  my annual promises to myself in no particular order.

1.At 7 & 9, these are the years the Fabulous 2 need me most so on the top of my list is to spend more time with my children. I will actively seek ways to work out of home so I can be around them as much as possible.

2.Save, save and SAVE without going too overboard. I am an accountant, I have some sort of absurd saving image to uphold. I think.

3. Take a mad amount of pictures. Even more than I did in 2012. Especially sunrises.

4. Give up chocolate… Nah scratch that, it never would have happened anyway!

4(a)Read.More.Books.

4(b)See my friends. Often.

5. Grow  Mumchic bigger and better in 2013. More inspiration, more food and more stories on parenting. A new layout is already in the works and will be up and running very soon. YAY!

6.Limit gadget use and more digital free time with the family. As much as we love our gadgets,  at times we tend to overuse them here at the HQ so for example, at dinner time, we will pass around a basket and everyone will hand in their phones, hand-held consoles, Ipods and have a good old family time. The same for dinners at restaurants. In fact a great idea came from my sister – everyone keeps their phone at one end of the dinner table when dining out, the first one to reach for their phone has to pay! Pretty cool eh ?

7. Begin planning my trip to Europe (the one I need to do before I turn 35) – Which is solely dependent on the success of point 2.

8. Grow more veggies, herbs, flowers and fruits. Since moving to the new apartment, I have been actively gardening and thoroughly enjoying it! I don’t know a lot and neither do I have a green thumb but I feel that its a wonderful hobby to cultivate in the New Year and I can’t wait to learn more.

9. I need to learn how to take naps and breaks to rejuvenate myself to prevent burn out. I need to allow others to help me… especially those who want to help and trust them others with things.In short, I need to chill out.

10. Continue having 20 minute chats with the fab 2 before they fall asleep, amazing how wonderful those sleepy conversations can be!

Apart from the above, there are the usual yearly resolutions like getting fit, staying calm, eating healthy, getting and staying organised ,adhering to a budget, less shopping , err nevermind!

And with that, its an official wrap of 2012 for me. A year that has tested me in a myriad ways. I think I have come through unscathed, mostly. Also a year that has given my life a brand new direction with this blog.

 2012, it has been a journey indeed. 2013 , it’s time to shine!

What are your resolutions for 2013? Share with us here your top 3. If you have written a post on your resolutions, feel free to share the link in the comments section of this post.

Here’s to a positive, happy, safe and prosperous 2013.

Happy New Year All.

Much Love,

Sabeen

Image Credit : Some-ecards.

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A Note To My Children.

noone else will ever kn

My dearest, precious sons; my fabulous 2,

I am sorry I had a meltdown today. I apologise that I was in tears on our ride to school. Instead of the usual positive affirmations followed by humming to your favourite songs, I felt upset and angry. I could tell you felt sad as you walked away from the car this morning, so did I.

I know that you are tired and ready for a break. This term at school in particular has been long especially this week and the hotter days haven’t helped either.I know that you are extra sensitive about the smallest things and with the buzz, excitement and anticipation of the holidays around the corner, it can all get a bit too overwhelming. I want to magically make it all okay for you. Only if.

I wonder if you have noticed…

My nerves have been frayed for a few weeks now , I am anxious, stressed and I too like you am ready for a break. Perhaps that is why sometimes I seem less patient than usual. Bear with me.

I know you think I am super mum, the person who is always in control, calm and strong. The one person who is supposed to make it all perfect.I promise you I am trying.. so very hard to make it all perfect for you.

But I have my moments. Like you, I am tired too.

Today, you are too little to understand but I hope that someday you will look back and appreciate the little thoughts and gestures that went into raising you. I hope that you will see the challenges and the sacrifices. There will be a time when the “nos” make perfect sense.

At many points in life, I may stop you, reprimand you or correct you. I may even do things that embarrass you. You might not think much of me when I do so but I promise you, it is not because I want to hurt your feelings or that I love you any less, it is because I love you more than anyone else ever will.

After all, you are the only ones who know what my heart sounds like from inside.

I Love You,

Mummy

{Too often, we are so caught up in making everything right for everyone else especially over the festive period, we forget to take care of ourselves  and we  might end up being harsh on those we love the most. This post is also dedicated  to everyone out there who is feeling the stress and anxiety of the season. Step back, breathe, take a momentary break if you can  and start afresh when you are ready. And that is exactly what I am going to be doing this weekend}

P.S – With 5 days left till Christmas, do not underestimate the power of listing, it works!

How are you coping with the stresses that come along with the festive season? How much shopping do you still need to do before Tuesday?

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2013

Where Has December Gone?

It is the 14th of December and I feel like the month has simply whizzed past me. It is roughly 10 sleeps till Christmas and 17 sleeps until we hit 2013! I am not so sure I am ready for 2012 to end already, it seems to have flown. Jan 2013 also means I turn 34, there is still SO much I need to cross off my list before I turn 35 including a trip to Europe. For which I need to save. For which I need to stop looking at clothes. Which is never going to happen. Although 2013 might be different. Might.

Anyway, I think I might do a special New Year’s resolution ( aka those silly rules I break every single year) post next week but now  its time to bring you upto speed with what’s been happening in my life so far this month and a few exciting things coming up on the blog!

The fabulous two have made it through another successful year at school and I couldn’t be happier with how they have come along especially with FS #3 with his brilliant reading, we are so lucky and blessed to be at such a wonderful school!

The boys had their first Tae Kwon Do grading followed by the school fete late November.

Then there was the work multicultural lunch, I brought a traditional Pakistani Karahi, it was a complete sell out. (shameless self promotion)

photo 1 (2)

One of my dearest, oldest and most wonderful friends here in Canberra packed up her house and moved with her clan of 6 to sunny Queensland. Although we didn’t see each other as much as we would have liked in recent years, I will miss her presence tremendously but I also know its for the best for her and her family. Love you Trina!

2012-12-15 00.15.09

Pic from her farewell dinner.

My first bestie in Australia and a brilliant writer, Ro visited Canberra on a 2 day networking event. I forgot to snap some pictures on the day but we had a lovely dinner at the HQ.

We put up our first ever Christmas tree!

Isn’t it gorgeous?

My baby sister who braved the isolating winters of Canberra for two whole years in the pursuit of a high quality education has now graduated with a Masters Of Management and a Masters of Business Administration from the Australian National University. At various points in the past two years, I thought she would strangle me alive if I asked her to come over one more time. No doubt, it has been a difficult and gruelling time for her juggling a job and a couple of degrees in what seems like a very competitive, cut throat environment. But she made it through and with flying colours too and so we are very very proud! Good on you sis :)

And to celebrate the graduation, we were joined by none other than the two very special people who have taught us all we know about life. Our parents.

Then there was the school Christmas carols night, after school care Chrissy party, work party, various end of year parties for programs the boys were attending at school. And there is still more to come with writing out cards for school this weekend and preparing presents for teachers. As much as I love this time of the year with all the color, warmth and festivities, I just find that I end up spreading myself too thin each and every year. I do wish I had better strategies in place to cope with all that has to happen come December!

But enough on the personal front. While its been quiet here on the blog, there have been a lot of exciting things happening in the background. So here is what you can look forward to in the next few weeks here on the blog :

An inspiring interview with John Andersen, Founder – Contiki Holidays

2 new features being introduced on the blog :

  • Empowered Mothers
  • Enterprising Entrepreneurs

A Baker’s Delight sponsored Sunday brunch

Possibly a new blog design ( Yes I know its so exciting);

And several fantastic reviews and promotional giveaways.

From what I can see, Mumchic.com is going to rock in 2013..fingers crossed :)

How about you ? How is December turning out for you ? Are you ready for 2013?

Are you like me wondering…Where has December gone?

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You know you love your children unconditionally when….

You know you love your children unconditionally when after a harrowing and distressful ( the tear your hair and have a complete meltdown kind) morning just before getting to school, you still spend the day thinking of them and feeling guilty for yelling at them.  You know you love your children unconditionally when after a hectic and busy week, you get to have a  well-deserved break while they visit their father. Instead of kicking back and relaxing the down time, you end up talking about them and sharing some of their funniest moments with a friend.

It breaks my heart each time I  have to let them go. It has been two years, it is never easy. I can only imagine how they must feel, split between two homes.I blame myself at times for stealing away from them a chance at a “conventional” childhood. For choosing a path which will always be harder. But I hope that one day they will understand why I did what I did. I hope that that is  the day they realise how unconditionally I have loved them.

raising two boys

 

How about you ? When do you love your child/loved ones unconditionally?

Happy weekend all :)

 

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