Today’s message is a simple reminder but also a very potent one .
I caught myself today passing judgement on someone I don’t know very well . The judgement was based greatly on my perception of that person rather than actual facts. And even though what I think of them will never matter to this person , what gives me the right to judge them or anyone else ? Who am I to define what is right or wrong especially without any knowledge of their personal circumstances ? What sort of person does that make me ?
I am very excited about this post and no it is not because I get to secretly bag out my children under the false pretense of writing a survival guide for less suspecting parents and also not because I am a cruel,unforgiving mum but because when you raise boys , every single day entails many stories of its own , stories that should be told , stories that must be told. Stories of laughter , deliciousness , tears , inspiration and stories of love. After all , isn’t that what Mumchic is all about ?
For our new readers , I have two little boys (6 & 8) , we have aptly named them , The Fabulous Two because you know , they’re pretty fabulous …. errr ok mostly fabulous !So what is it like raising two boys ? I am no parenting expert and most of the observations I will list below are mine alone but I have a feeling many of you will either be laughing your heads off or wondering if I secretly spied on your house to write to this post… or both !
So here it is , A Survivor’s , oops I mean Survival Guide to Raising Boys .
1.Boys eat ! Yes even the ones who made teeny , weeny little babies and you crawled behind them with a spoon of stewed apple making a right mockery of yourself had someone seen you because you were worried they wouldn’t gain enough weight on the next visit to the baby clinic. Face it , it was that stern nurse’s “You’re a careless , bad mother who probably spends all her day on Facebook ” look you were more afraid of than your child’s well being. Ah inner demons I tell you. Anyway , even that child will turn into a ravenous little something , a bit like my beautiful FS1. Where the heck does all this food go ? I often wonder . So the key is to have a very and I can’t say very often enough , stocked pantry and fridge and ofcourse a job that can fund your grocery bills because they will inevitably skyrocket.From what I hear , it doesn’t get any better. A little tip off , keep an unlimited supply of Maggi Noodles or whatever other brand you buy , our current favourite is Trident and teach your boy/s how to make them . Those little packs are a blessing I tell you for those in-between meals hunger cravings that may result in someone getting killed. Another trick is to have a lot of bananas handy , I have now taught FS2 to reach for a banana every time he feels like a piece of chocolate/lollies , bananas equal instant energy and much healthier than a sugar hit.
2.Be prepared for early onset pf hyponchondriasis , very very early. There will be unexplained tummy aches that last for months on end in spite of a clean bill from the GP.Their appearance will be staggered and timely , usually when there is an ad break on the tv and there is nothing else to do , you are a soft target you see.
3.Also , an unlimited supply of bandaids from the $2 shop (100 for $2 or something ? ) is a great investment because you know , bandaids can be redeeming force in many wars or (un)life threatning situations like :
FS2 , playing in the yard wails in excruciating pain ” Muuuummyyyyyyyyyyyyy , look I got SO badly hurt ” I race out to assess the damage which ofcourse turns out to be a mini graze . I say coolly ( in these situations , one must remain calm and detached and yet show a degree of compassion lest you want to be considered evil ) ” Here FS2 , let me rub some dettol and put a bandaid for you ” , All the wailing and tears halt …almost immediately ..Bandaids , making the world a better place.
And on that note , I beg you , please do NOT buy into those cute excuses for a bandaid with your kids favourite cartoons , you will end up spending a small fortune …on Bandaids.
But as we all know, most young boys have a great aversion to work. They can sit and stare at if for hours.
― James Dobson
Such profound words …
4.Along with hyponchondria-whateveritis , there is also a very early onset of laziness ( notice a pattern starting here ? ) , so instead of yelling out instructions every few minutes , write a list of tasks that need to be done before you leave home and stick it on their bedroom door. Then , just leave the scene . This never fails.
5.Memorize the Wikipedia because knowing the answer to just about everything and beyond is part of your job. Example : ” Mummy , Siri must get so tired , she has to answer so many questions , does she ever sleep ? ” , and If Aunty So and Uncle So have been married for sooo long , why don’t they have kids yet ? ( Clearly , my kids are still living in the ” God gives us babies ” bubble )
If , you are way too busy to memorize the Wikipedia , do the cool parent jig when thrown a difficult question for example Who is the world’s strongest man ?. Instead of tearing your hear down and yelling How in heaven’s name am I supposed to know that !!!!! be smart , just say “Honey , I will get back to you on that one” , disappear from the scene of the question for a few minutes , quickly google the question , read up on possible answers and return , loud and proud ” Oh honey , you know who the strongest man in the world is ” Deliver an animated spiel about the dude and throw in a few stats ( boys love stats ! ) . Now while your child looks at you with renewed respect , mentally bow down to theGoogle Gods and thank them from the bottom of your heart !
6.You must possess a very high tolerance for conversations that revolve around wees and poos. Yes , truly , most little boy conversations are hugely centred around excretion , I have no idea why but have learnt from experience and conversations with other parents of similar aged children that this is normal . Good ! I’ll have normal then.
7.Also , if you are raising more than one boy , be prepared for the most intriguing games. One of the popular ones at our house for example is : One son on the toilet seat doing his business , the other playing handball with him from the across the corridor… perhaps some strange way of expressing brotherly love which simply MUST be done while one brother is on the toilet seat . This proves the legitimacy of point number 6… it is true boys bond over strange things. Speaking of toilets , along with groceries and bandaids , make a considerable toilet paper allowance on your budget , just do it .
8.The girlfriend , boyfriend and marriage conversation comes easy. Contrary to popular belief , boys love talking about these subjects …. as long as it is about everyone else but themselves .But heaven forbid , if you were to entertain the thought that your own son might have a little crush or a girlfriend , the drama that ensues . Don’t do it , trust me , it raises hell.
9.Be a funny person , little boys love nothing more than a parent who has a great sense of humour and an ability to laugh at themselves.Say funny things , crack jokes , sing songs in weird voices and be dramatic.Ask to play a part in one of their pirate games , read to them or pass the football , I tell you there is instant redemption in these from all those times you send your little man to timeout and thought he will hate you forever.
10.Are you a minimalist raising boys ? If not , it would make a lot sense to become one , if you value your peace of mind that is. You know that gorgeous piece of art you have really been wanting to put up ? Or that tall vase that will look just perfect next to the sofa in your lounge ? Hold off until the boys have left the nest. There will be a lot of running and chasing , super hero games , Poo Ball ( as mentioned earlier ) , wrestling on the bed ,corridor cricket , hide and seek , Tae Kwon Do patterns practiced , bottom flashing competitions…need I say more ? The last thing you need is to have a brand new vase smashed to smithereens.
11.Be tech savvy , be very tech savvy . Little boys will not settle for your knowledge of Barbie’s latest clothing line or what car won the Grand Prix , like their older counterparts , little boys love gadgets and totally appreciate a parent who knows their tech. Yes yes , that does mean skimming over some of the tech news you have been conveniently missing for the past few years thinking you will eventually find out anyway. (Oh just incase you missed it , the world now has an iPad 3 , Facebook bought Instagram and Pinterest is where you upload your pictures ).I have found subscribing to a tech blog like Mashable is fantastic because you get a great overview of all the latest news. Chuck in a few youtube videos on some cool upcoming technology like the one below and your sons will be sold !
Oh the promise of the future !
11.And lastly , little boys just like little girls love a barrage of cuddles and kisses , they may not express it often enough but they love you and love spending time together and having you answer their million questions. Often , what works with the Fab 2 is when they ask me to do something for them , I will say that will cost you ummm about 100 kisses and then we negotiate it down to 30-40 , its a great way to kill a bit of time ,get a few laughs and score a few kisses .And they LOVE compliments so give that ego a little boost , just like little girls, they need to know they look handsome or did something very clever or said something, in a most articulate way.
Well , I could just keep going because there really is so much to share about raising these little men. All said and done , there is no right or wrong , so on days when all goes pear shaped and you lose hope just remember to breathe and smile , you know what they say ,
It is easier to Raise boys than to Fix Men !
So tell me …
What are your experiences with raising boys ? Do you have funny stories or tips to share with us ?
There is also a People’s Choice Award which is where you all play a big part .If you are absolutely loving Mumchic , all you have to do is cast a vote and share share share the voting link with your family and friends .
Come on people , lets make this community even more awesome !
A few mentions :
A big THANKYOU to all of you for being such wonderful readers and being a part of Mumchic’s growing community.
A special thankyou to the Best Sister In The World better known in the blogosphere as the Simpleton for encouraging me to start this blog , coming this far would not have been possible without regular doses of your witty sarcasm ! Oh and THANKYOU for the fabulous cupcake campaign idea you dreamed up – literally ! ( See picture above )
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Have a wonderful day/night and stay tuned for the next post which promises to be a cracker .
One day in 1997 , I made a friend .We went to college together back in my hometown , Karachi. We were 17 and thought black lipstick and ouiji boards were cool ,we were tripping on the likes of Celine Dion and Aerosmith and prank calling boys on their home landlines hoping against hope that ” the one ” would pick up. Back in the days when that sort of stalker behaviour was considered normal , text message stalking was unheard of and life was simple.
I don’t quite remember the circumstances in which we became friends , ( perhaps she does ? ) but what I do remember clearly is her cheerful , infectious personality . Her bubbly banter , candid and honest , her heart warming smile ( recent Skype interactions suggest nothing has changed ) . I remember shopping sprees at the local cloth market and stuffing ourselves with roadside pani puri ( crispy hollow deep fried papadum like balls served with tamarind and spiced water ) generously garnished with potatoes , onions and coriander. She remembers chutney sandwiches I made in college (to this day thinking they were cucumber ). And I remember saying to her once , these were ” Zindagi ki choti choti khushiyaan” , meaning Life’s little pleasures , clearly I was under the great influence of dramatic Bollywood back in those days.
Post college , she moved overseas and eventually, so did I. Connections were lost and life moved on. Enter Mark Zuckerberg and by the sheer forces of Facebook , we are back in touch. There is something to be said about teenage friendships, you can pick up where you left off like the years in between had never happened. No matter what path you have traversed in life , no matter what your circumstances , there is this unspoken pact of love, comfort and understanding that you will only find with a childhood friend.I share that pact with her. We are geographically far removed and yet in our little ways , part of each other’s lives, thankyou social media this would never be possible without you. There is the wish that perhaps some day , we may be able to share life’s little pleasures again but until then , she claims she will be happy with my recipe for Cucumber Sandwiches , well my darling friend , this one’s for you !
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Cucumber Sandwiches
Serves 4
Note : Requires 4-6 hours refrigeration time before final preparation
You will need :
1 loaf of sliced white or wholemeal bread ( lightly thawed )
1 250 grams tub of cream cheese (I prefer light)
1/2 cup of mayonnaise
1 tsp of mixed salad herbs
2-3 tbsp lemon juice
3/4 cup finely chopped fresh coriander
1/4 tsp freshly cracked black pepper
3 lebanese cucumbers , peeled and thinly sliced
Here’s how :
Combine all the listed ingredients apart from the bread and cucumber slices. You should have a paste like consistency , if the mixture seems too thick , try adding some more lemon juice and whipping with a fork.
Once well combined , refrigerate mixture for 4-6 hours or overnight if preparing a day earlier.
To assemble ; prepare atleast an hour before serving
Lightly thaw the bread but do not defrost entirely as frozen bread cuts well.
Cut the sides of the bread for a daintier , tea party look or leave them on if you are crunched for time.
Generously spread the cream cheese and herb paste on either side of the bread .
Place a layer of thinly sliced cucumbers , top with the second slice and cut into 4 triangles or even 3 rectangles for that ribbon sandwich look.
Garnish with slices of cucumbers or carrot shreds.
Cover with a dampened tea towel or paper towel to prevent the sandwiches from drying out .
Let the compliments pour in !
Nothing more gratifying than a recipe that people fall in love with , it makes all the effort worth it . The coriander adds a fantastic asian zing , these beautifully creamy cucumber sandwiches rate very high on the fall in love radar , perfectly paired with a fruit salad on a warm summer’s day , perhaps a pitcher of home-made lemonade .Might be time to plan a tea party with the girls and renew some of life’s little pleasures
My relationship with you has been an interesting one and the subject of much ridicule amongst my closest friends and family . You see , I was one of those outcasts who found the whole touch screen experience fairly intimidating – and NO I refuse to be called technologically challenged , can I help it if the Finnish Nokia had my fingertips wrapped around its beautiful beveled keys for a good part of a decade. It was a long drawn out break up with Nokia I have to say , at one stage I was carrying two phones , an iPhone because you know , everyone has an iPhone , I mean EVERYONE and a Nokia because it felt like home. My Blackberry loving sibling , prone to telling it like it is , was often found wondering in company whether your only purpose in my life was to serve as a camera .
Time , they say is the best healer , over time I developed a kind of affinity for you, dearest iPhone , enjoying the land of apps and an unending supply of music you always provide at the touch of a screen….emails at my fingertips , google search a tip and a tap away , maps when I lost my way , really what more can one want ? Having said that, I didn’t succumb to a rash purchase as soon as they replaced you with that new swisher looking iPhone 4 when it arrived back in 2010.You could say I was finally beginning to fall in love with you.
But late last year, you sort of gave in and I thought it was time for fresh starts. After endless research and friendly debates generally titled ” Samsung SII vs Apple iPhone 4s ” , “Android vs iOS” , ” hold out for the iPhone 5 or go for the 4s “…. you get the drift, I , once again gave in to Apple , well Siri really.
4 months on , I think it would be only fair to say , my not so new iPhone 4s and I share a love hate relationship . Here’s why :
I hate, hate, HATE that it has a shocking battery life and I have to charge it every freaking half an hour.
I LOVE that it has a fantastic 8 mega pixel camera that takes brilliant photos as well as videos , almost negating the need to have any other digital camera in my life unless its a DSLR.
I HATE( I mean love , I mean hate , I mean love …oh nevermind !) that having a world of information at my fingertips in the form of a smartphone , I am less inclined to read a book on my way to work and highly inclined to read who did what with whom and where on Facebook, very informative I tell you. I am also very much likely to connect with a friend via text,email or a facebook shout out than by actually just phoning them which by the way is also just a finger tap or a Siri command away.
Speaking of Siri ,the lovely Siri ( which did you know can go through a gender change just by selecting the English – UK option as I discovered this morning ). It is a great addition and a definite step up in the game , heck it is possibly what convinced me to go with the 4s over the Galaxy SII , having said that I HATE that I have only but used it but a total of umm 15 times and it refuses to assist me with finding the closest chinese restaurant because I speak with an Australian accent . I am not paying any less ( infact its probably more seeing the current exchange rate ) for an iPhone 4s than my American friends then why the prejudice Apple ? I would like a Siri that knows everything , thankyou very much !
Oh and lets not forget, I HATE how, the fabulous two with Siri’s willingness to always please find their way into playlists when they should be doing their homework.
I LOVE that Siri has given our home many magically cute moments like the other night when FS2 , half asleep and contemplative , asked ” Mummy , Siri must get so tired , she has to answer so many questions , does she ever sleep ? ” , Yes I know he is cute isnt he ? , takes after his mother ofcourse , I couldn’t help but play along by saying ” Yes sweetheart , which is why we really shouldn’t be asking her what the current weather is in Disneyland… every 5 minutes “
And lastly , I HATE how the fabulous two have executively decided that the iPhone is their primary gaming console , no matter how many other gaming consoles we may have in our house , they will gladly trade-in for an iPhone. There was even talk last week in the house about taking the phone into school for show and tell ( something to do with being cool I suppose ) and FS1 is apparently saving up for the iPhone 5 . FS1 is 8 years old and might be dreaming.
So as touted aggressively by Apple, is the iPhone 4s the most amazing iPhone yet ? Probably , Am I sold on it ? No , not yet .
I hear they might release the iPhone 5 later this year around Spring ( I’m Australian remember , Spring = September , we do seasons the other way round down under just in case you were wondering ) , Will I be pre-ordering it ? No , I don’t think so .. I rather enjoy these little debates I have with my friends about pros, cons , functionalities every time Apple has a big release.
Well there we have it , so until we meet again…
Oh iPhone , how I love to hate you.
P.S my wonderful , dependable ex, Nokia still sits somewhere in the house , always ready to be a backup phone incase the iPhone 4s and I have a falling out.
Surviving single parenthood one baby step at a time...overdosed on coffees and red bull mostly.This is where I blog about food, inspiration, lifestyle, sweet nothings and love.
Pakistani|Australian.
Canberra, Australia.
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